Moving Up USA

Yesterday was Mother’s Day. Eighty-five million moms across the United States hopefully felt some level of appreciation. Today, another three thousand will join their ranks as they bring their first born into the world.

I’ve written about moms frequently over the years. Topics ranged from the surprising history of Mother’s Day, ideas for belated Mother’s Day gifts, the challenges mom’s faced over COVID, and our unfortunate tendency to take them for granted.

In many of these cases, my starting point was either my own mom or my wife – the mother of our three children.

But consider the number referenced above. There are eight-five million moms in America right now. Collectively, they have brought hundreds of millions of people of all ages into this world. That is a staggering contribution to humankind – if they never did anything else at all. But of course they do.

I have been fortunate to bear witness to the incredible strength and sacrifice of not just my own mom and wife but of so many countless others. Moms who raise kids on their own. Moms who juggle a ridiculous amount of responsibilities. Moms who do without so their children can have more. Moms who help differently abled sons and daughters feel whole. Moms who show up and show up and show up. Moms who love unconditionally – even when circumstances may push that assumption. Moms who just make things work even when the world isn’t cooperating.

In looking back at all the moms I’ve known, I see things now that I missed then. As a child, I remember moms who just needed a break and turned to a long drag off a Pall Mall. I remember others working quietly in the background to keep the “trains” running on time. I remember another coming home at almost midnight after a long day working at a nursing home, barely saying hello to her son and his friends that were over as she put up her feet and turned the television on.

More recently, I see crockpots filled with food in my mother-in-law’s kitchen as her grandkids and other family arrive. Food that was weeks in the making. I see moms at my school’s sporting events knowing that the cheers from the sidelines sometimes mask tears at home. I see mom’s boarding trains and buses heading to New York or DC to march for their rights and their daughters.

And yet, I see only a tiny fraction of those minds, hands and hearts at work and the magic they create. So often without notice, praise, or appreciation.

When I was young, my brother and sister and I all called our mother, Ma. For the longest time, I had assumed that was a Boston thing. Apparently it is not.

Ma is thought to be the original name for the person who brings us into this world. The first expression of motherhood. Linguists suggest that this is a “universal infantile vocalization,” that stems from the noise babies make while breastfeeding or babbling.

We are wise to remember this elemental connection to our moms, who bring us into this world, nourish us, protect us, shape us, educate us, mentor us, accept us, show up for us and of course love us.

We move on from Ma, to Mama, to Momma Mommy, Mom, Mum, Mother and a host of other terms – not always voiced with the respect they deserve.

We ask and ask and ask. The “mama” request for milk evolves into a “Mom did you wash my uniform?” And of course, they give and give and give.

It is a worthwhile exercise to ask ourselves, where would we be without moms?

We would be nowhere because literally without them there is no us.

It is a fact worth remembering. Not just on the second Sunday of May – but everyday before and after.

Thanks Ma for everything.

This Week’s Recommendation: Musicians often put into words tributes to their moms that we only wish we could articulate with such poignancy. Consider finding a song that speaks to how you feel about your mom and send it to her One I shared recently with my own, was “Momma Song” by Benson Boone.

Consider sharing this with a Mom in your life – perhaps your own or another who you admire.