Torn

I learned earlier today that I apparently have not one but two meniscus tears in my right knee. This is in addition to an ACL sprain. 

There are two treatment options. One is rest, anti-inflammatories and physical therapy. The other is surgery. The first does not preclude the latter because if it fails, then surgery will still be on the table.

Timing is also a factor. Summer is the optimal time for surgery and the recovery that follows, as I’m not teaching in the city or on the soccer pitch five days a week. Both of which aren’t fun on crutches or hobbling around. Then, of course, there is the ramification for our summer vacation in August.

All of which is to say that I am torn on how to fix my tears.

As in most situations with something torn or damaged the options for recovery are not clear cut. One is often more conservative. We hope that with time, attention and some hard work, we will get stronger and the problem will be fixed – for now at least. The other is more aggressive. There is a more drastic intervention. Something is cut, severed, stitched. The likelihood of success is heightened but recovery is often longer and the scars stay with us forever.

If it seems as if I’m talking about more than my knee, well of course I am. We often feel torn in so many ways – within our country, our relationships, ourselves. 

I am a firm believer in most counts that the conservative approach to healing what is torn is the more prudent route. But then after a week like this, I wonder. 

Whatever tears you experience, I hope that you seek out second and third opinions. Look at all the options for mending and the role you can play in them. Resist the urge of the knife, to cut people or things out of your life or make rash choices.  

Instead, perhaps pick up the thread and seek out opportunities where you can help mend the tears of others.

Serendipitously as I type this, I hear this song with the following lyrics ringing through my AirPods, “I just wanna heal, I just wanna heal without having to be scarred.” 

Amen to that. Wishing all that is torn with you and yours heal accordingly.