In class this week, I asked fifteen college students to write down the names of three people in the world they admired but that they didn’t know personally. Two things struck me. One, almost everyone struggled to come up with three names. Two, no person was mentioned twice.
This inquiry was spurred on from a conversation I had the previous night with a friend. We similarly struggled to find what would be today’s equivalent of Gandhi, Mandela, RBG, Mother Theresa, Eisenhower, Churchill, MLK, and Rosa Parks. People who were universally known and admired – not simply for their achievements but for their moral standings.
With an increasingly diverse and polarized world that puts people both under a microscope (exposing their flaws) and into a corner (forcing them to take sometimes unpopular positions), perhaps this is unsurprising. Maybe we have more people who are admired by 30% of the world at the expense of a few admired by 70%. One person’s Anthony Fauci is another’s Robert Kennedy. Gone are the days of Jonas Salk.
Still there may be more factors afoot.
In this enlightening op-ed from David Brooks, he notes a study that found that from 2000-2019 the number of headlines in major American publications meant to evoke anger more than doubled. The prevalence of headlines meant to evoke fear rose by 150%. I wonder if correspondingly the number of headlines meant to spark admiration declined.
Of course we make note of admirable people when they die. But I would argue, it would be more advantageous to society to share admiration happening in real time than upon reflection.
It bears mentioning that when I also asked my students to list three people who they did know and admired, the results were far different. They had no issues listing three people and – if not by name, then by role – there was tremendous consistency as most mentioned one or both parents, a sibling and/or a friend.
This proximity to admiration should be inspiring. It is critical – and probably more important – that young people have access to role models in their homes and communities. I suspect they probably could have each listed ten or more people they admire in their own lives – including teachers, nurses, firefighters, doctors and others who everyday do work to make the world better for others.
Yet in the equivalent of our national headlines, they too didn’t share news of admiration. Most said that they have never told any of the three people in their lives that they admired them or why.
In discussing why this was important, the answer was clear to them. When we tell people why we admire them it reinforces that behavior. Similarly when we celebrate people we admire, we hold up what we value as a country or a world – reinforcing it amongst all citizens.
In a country where People magazine celebrates our “Most Beautiful” or Timecelebrates “Our Most Influential,” where is our list celebrating “Our Most Admired?”
I encourage you to spend some time thinking about those you admire and then sharing that news – at the kitchen table with your kids, over cocktails with your friends, online with your followers. And don’t forget to tell those people in your life that you admire them and why. They will not only appreciate it but possibly admire you for it as well.
This Week’s Recommendation: If you’re looking for a pick me up, check out Ed Sheeran’s new album, Play. It’s his first album in over two years and represents his own ascension after a difficult period processing depression and grief. It is largely hopeful and upbeat. Something presumably we could all use more of.
Please consider sharing this with someone you admire.