| This weekend my youngest daughter and I went to see the new movie Coco. The movie is a multi-layered parable about how family connections transcend time. The penultimate scene shows a boy singing a lullaby to his great-grandmother who suffers from dementia. The song, Remember Me, was written by her father and they would sing it together each time he said goodbye to her when she was a little girl. |
We know both empirically and intuitively that the prospect of a reward is a more persuasive motivator than the fear of punishment.
Yet under pressure, our instincts often lead us to threats of the latter.
We see this is our politics, in business, in relationships and with our own children.
Recently, over a lunch comparing parenting notes, a good friend shared an approach that was proving to be successful with his own son. While…
There are many measures of success but this pearl of wisdom struck me as especially prescient. It was coming from Warren Buffett, who by almost any measure has lived an immensely successful life.
He is one of wealthiest people in the world – yet lives modestly in the same house he purchased in 1958.
He has pledged and has already begun to give away at least half of all his wealth (for those counting that’s $27 billion to date and will probably eclipse over $60 billion.) …
This is what my five-year-old daughter cheerfully said to me as we biked together on a quiet road on Cape Cod last week.
My initial reaction was to laugh at this comical “out of the mouths of babes” moment. Then I looked ahead of us both and watched my own mother, now well into her 70’s, also on a bike and thought the exact same thing.
Up until that day, I can’t say I had ever seen my mom on a bike. But…
This was a question I couldn’t help ponder after listening to Prince William talk about his mother Princess Diana. Reflecting on his memories from twenty years earlier, he said “I can still feel her love today, I really can.”
This love while most pronounced with her sons was not limited to them. Two other grown men recalled with precision the care and comfort she had provided to them on a visit to their home in Bosnia. Both…
I am of the age, where several times a year, I will learn of a friend’s father’s death. Attending these funerals becomes an affirmation of a life well lived. The chief signal being the quality of the eulogies provided by fully-grown sons and daughters.
With families of their own, they demonstrate by words and actions, how well their father’s had done in raising them. In doing so, they pay the ultimate tribute to the man they called Dad, Pop, Daddy, or Father.…
In 1943, off the coast of North Africa, my grandfather, Burton Poucher was one of 1,149 U.S. soldiers who were killed aboard the HMT Rohna.
The ship was sunk by a newly designed remote control German glider bomb – a precursor to today’s “smart” missiles. It was the largest single loss of life in the sea during the war.
Prior to shipping off, Burton was stationed in Indiana for training.…
Why do some kids overcome toxic situations while others don’t?
Research has shown that one answer is “a single protective adult.” A child with a buffer is far more likely to succeed than one who is left to navigate these difficulties alone — no matter how hard that child may work at it.
Having a buffer does not save or spare us from all of the indignities and pain of growing up poor, or facing extreme or toxic stress, but it can lessen their impact, sometimes considerably.…
A nice house with a white picket fence has long been the embodiment of the American Dream. With home ownership comes pride and stability. A place to call home, raise a family, build a life.
In Washington, D.C. today, there is a 40-year wait for affordable housing. That’s not a typo. Forty years. It doesn’t take much to turn a rented apartment, trailer, or a house into a home.…
Isabel Sawhill from the Brookings Institution, one of the country’s leading thinkers on social mobility, recently said, “We do need a more nuanced conversation, and we need to get away from this sense that is being created in the political world right now that it’s either all about being a Horatio Alger or it’s all about government support to help you. It’s not either/or, it’s both.”…
A little harsh, I’d say, but there is a point to be made about the unintended consequences that well-meaning ideas and words can have on our success.
Consider these three examples:
