When Yes Means No

In Tom vs. Time, the new docu-series on Facetime Watch, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady gives us a glimpse into his rarified world.
 
In the second episode, Brady laments, “Every time you say yes, you’re saying no to something else.  We only have so much time.”
 
In his case, this means that when he says yes to football he is saying no to his family.…


Have An Awesome 2018

Research shows that anger is the most viral emotion.

We see it online in social media, standing impatiently inline and stuck in confined spaces – like our car driving my family across the state of Pennsylvania yesterday.

One person’s anger spreads to another with surprising speed and efficiency.
 

It’s hard to break this cycle once it begins. Its effects are corrosive both personally and to the entire community in which it has taken place.…


Do Children Cry Happy Tears?

This weekend my youngest daughter and I went to see the new movie Coco. The movie is a multi-layered parable about how family connections transcend time.

The penultimate scene shows a boy singing a lullaby to his great-grandmother who suffers from dementia.  The song, Remember Me, was written by her father and they would sing it together each time he said goodbye to her when she was a little girl.

Think Again

We like to think that our own beliefs and behavior are based on a rationale examination of the facts available to us.

Conversely, it is common to consider those whose beliefs and behaviors are different from ours irrational.  

The reality is that none of us are rationale.  Our mind is wired in such a way that we make decisions or judgments and then find the facts and figures to rationalize our position. Not


Bias In Your Backyard

A white man sees a black man walking quickly towards a woman at a bus stop.  He senses a threat until he realizes the man’s little daughter at the bus stop is the cause for his rush. He feels ashamed of his bias – especially considering he also has a black daughter.

An African-American police officer is frustrated that he has to under go diversity training. …


“You’re Older, Not Old.”

This is what my five-year-old daughter cheerfully said to me as we biked together on a quiet road on Cape Cod last week.

My initial reaction was to laugh at this comical “out of the mouths of babes” moment. Then I looked ahead of us both and watched my own mother, now well into her 70’s, also on a bike and thought the exact same thing.

Up until that day, I can’t say I had ever seen my mom on a bike. But…


Understanding The Differences Between Good And Evil

As I walked to work, I approached a sparrow sitting idly on the sidewalk. Drawing closer, I realized he was lording over a wounded moth, presumably planning breakfast. Upon noticing me, he fluttered a few feet away – more likely out of fear of me not guilt of what he was about to do. As I moved away, he returned to his prey. When I moved closer again, he retreated once more. Eventually,

What Does “The Environment” Mean To You?

Several years ago, linguist George Lakoff was asked to do a study of language used to communicate about environmental issues, including what was then called global warming.

In his analysis, he discovered that there was a part of speech that was largely absent…. pronouns.

We say the environment not my environment, the water supply instead of ourwater supply, earth instead of our planet.

The implications were huge.


How Do You Compare To Others?

We all like to believe that our self-worth is something we determine on our own. It is after all called self-worth.
 
Then why do we so often feel compelled to compare ourselves to others? We do it with our looks, our grades, our performance, our income and raises. And we do it between neighbors or friends (e.g. keeping up with the Joneses) and within our families (e.g. will we do better than our parents?)…


Now, More Than Ever?

Now more than ever, I’ve been hearing and reading the phrase “Now more than ever.”
 
When you google that phrase, you will be bombarded by hundreds of thousands of results from election day to today.
 
Most are calls to arms from organizations and individuals who understandably feel threatened by the changes they anticipate. Their intention is to create a sense of urgency that will translate into more support – both financially and otherwise.…


This Is How Real Change Starts

Our problems seem intractable. Opposing sides become so entrenched in their world view that any prospect of progress seems bleak.

So we spend our energy either demonizing the “other side” or trying to persuade them to “see the light” and come over to our side. 

New research out of Stanford that examined one of the most intractable of all issues offers us hope that real change starts at a more basic level – showing people that ANY change is possible.…