On Thursday, my wife and I met with a lawyer to put in place a will – a task that was long overdue. I suppose that one of the reasons for the delay was our aversion to confronting our own mortality. Though, we already had many of the difficult conversations necessary to make decisions that form the basis for this binding legal document. The most important of which was the selection of who would serve as the legal guardians to our children should both of us die while they were still young.…
Earlier this week, I was looking to connect with Colby Sharp, an educator who hosts a podcast about children’s books, called The Yarn. I stumbled upon his twitter account and was struck by his “bio” which began with the phrase, “driven by gratitude.”
It was such a wonderful articulation of what motivates him and got me wondering about what drives any of us.
In my own life, I know that what drives me has evolved.…
As part of preparing to give the commencement speech at my alma mater, I talked with a university archivist to better understand various parts of our school’s history.
One specific area of interest was the school’s founding as a land grant university. I had planned to speak with pride that I was the beneficiary of this act of Congress that enabled states to fund public colleges.…
Last week, after appearing on CBS Sunday Morning, Three Little Engines became the top selling book on all of Amazon. It is crazy to see your book ahead of the likes of Stephen King. A week later, I received word from my publisher that the book had made the New York Times best seller list. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t overwhelmed and thrilled by both results.…
If you see the movie version of “In the Heights” based on the Lin-Manuel Miranda musical, you are likely to be wowed by the lavish dance numbers, moved by the stories of dreams and swept up by the fantastic music. Yet for me it was the poignancy of a collection of artifacts that show up in the film’s penultimate scene that will linger long after the images and tunes leave my head.…
I created a bucket list before they were fashionable – or even called a bucket list. I was twenty-five at the time, filled with hubris, and created a list of 51 things I wanted to do before I died.
Looking back at the list, I’m not doing too bad. I’ve married, become a father, written a few books, taken my mother to Disney World, visited Paris and walked on the field at Fenway Park. …
“Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?” This lyric from the final song in Hamilton, captures not only an important question about our history but also about our present.
There are different versions of our histories – within our families, our institutions, our country and our world.
In many ways, it is less important to reconcile our complicated personal and national histories than it is to at least spend some time examining them.…
Several months ago, I was listening to Marc Maron interview Glenn Close for his podcast. It was fascinating on many levels — for example, who knew that the actress was raised in a religious cult?
One story, in particular, has stuck with me. As a young address, Close was an understudy looking to make her Broadway debut. One particular Saturday, the director, Hal Prince, told her that he was thinking of letting the leading lady go and was going to make his decision after the matinee. …
In conjunction with Women’s History Month, my 11 year old daughter came home from school with an assignment to write a paper about a female member of her family that was no longer with us.
She chose her great grandmother, whom she never had the chance to meet but shares a middle name.
As part of this assignment she had to interview at least two members of our family who knew Nana using a series of questions supplied by her teacher.…
Last week, during winter break for my children, our family drove into New York City, for no other reason than to take our dog for a walk. While it was his inaugural stroll through the city streets, it was an opportunity for me to revisit old haunts and places that I called home for fifteen years.
My memory is not what it used to be. Presumably it’s preoccupied by short term demands for my attention that usually arrive these days via email, zoom calls and, more importantly from my children and family.…
If an actor is defined by the roles he or she takes on, then by all accounts Chadwick Boseman was a man defined by dignity, strength and justice. Playing Jackie Robinson, Thurgood Marshall and the Black Panther, among others, Boseman’s talents were undeniable – as were the many ways in which he chose to share his gifts both on and off the screen.
His death last week of colon cancer at the age of 43 stopped me in my tracks – not just because it was a tragic loss of a talented person in their prime – but because the same disease has wreaked havoc in the lives of my family and friends.…
I love the Beyonce song, “I was here.” It’s an inspiring and anthemic reminder and call to action regarding our purpose. Consider these lyrics:
I wanna say I lived each day, until I die
And know that I meant something in somebody’s life
The hearts I have touched will be the proof that I leave
That I made a difference, and this world will see
I was here
In this context and most, “here” refers to the specific time and place that we occupy. …
The last paragraph on page 194 read, “The most hopeless conditions can inspire the most hopeful actions. We have found ways to restore life on Earth in the event of a total collapse because we have found ways to cause a total collapse of life on Earth. We are the flood, and we are the ark.”
I paused before moving on to the next chapter and looked up at my oldest daughter finishing breakfast.…
As the decade comes to a close, there are no shortage of “Best of” lists — best stories, best films, best songs, best books, best teams, best players etc.
Perhaps you’ve also done your own personal best of the decade list. It would probably be filled with milestones, accomplishments, vacations, and events.
What we don’t see are many “best for” lists. In other words, what were the best things done for someone else?…
With just one month left in the year, it is natural to look back at the previous eleven. For some it will feel like a blur, others a slog, others yet a mixed bag.
In the context of our life, it is likely that only a handful of memories from this year will remain lodged in our consciousness this time next year, joining the handful of others from each previous year of our lives. …
In his brilliant new book, We are the Weather: Saving the Planet Begins at Breakfast, Jonathan Safran Foer recites a common definition of the American Dream as “having a better life than one’s parents – better primarily in the sense of affluence.”
He describes how his grandparents had a better home than his great grand parents and how his parents had a better home than his grandparents AND how he now has a better and more valuable home than any of them. …
This powerful question comes from Rom Mokak, Australia’s first Indigenous Policy Evaluation Commissioner. It is a question that the Yawuru people ask when a major decision is to be made for their community.
When I first heard this question, it made me think of what kind of steward I am for not just my children’s future but for their children and their children and so on. I…
When he plays Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out in concert, Bruce Springsteen pauses in the middle of the song, where his friend, the late Clarence Clemons, sax solo used to be. He does so to honor a man that he was not embarrassed to say he loved or kiss publicly.
When he played the song during Springsteen on Broadway, he went one step further, pausing longer to explain his deep affection for the person he called, “The Big Man.”…
This week I watched a two-minute video and read a ten-page magazine article that hit me like a punch to the gut and left me staggering and wondering, “What to do?”
The video was of the sixteen-year-old environmentalist, Greta Thunberg, who had sailed from Sweden to address the United Nations. Her provocative and passionate speech left me feeling shamed and helpless. Watch for yourself. How do her words make you feel?…
From the time I began writing this weekly note, at least five of its readers have died. Many more have lost a parent, family member, friend or co-worker during that same time.
Death, regretfully, is the ultimate fact of life. Its certainty is inescapable. Yet for many valid reasons we choose to put the question of our own mortality out of sight and out of mind. …
One night last week, while walking my dog Scout, my mind wandered on to the topic of risk.
I was lamenting my own sense of risk aversion. As long as I can remember, the fear of loss has always outweighed the joy of gain in my own mental risk calculation.
Then looking down, lost in my own head, I found a lottery ticket resting in the street. It’s…
The opening of David Brooks new book, The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life reads:
Every once in a while, I meet a person who radiates joy…They are kind, tranquil, delighted by small pleasures, and grateful for the large ones. These people are not perfect. They get exhausted and stressed. They make errors in judgment. But they live for others, not themselves. They’ve made unshakable commitments to family, a cause, a community or a faith.…
The film The Old Man and the Gun tells the real life story of Forrest Tucker, who is played by Robert Redford in his final film. A career thief, Tucker’s most famous exploits were as the leader of the “Over the Hill Gang”, a group of three senior citizens who robbed over 60 banks during a three-year period.
Tucker was affable and artful in his heists. …
This was the seventh father’s day for my youngest daughter. It means that all three of my children now have had a father in their lives longer than I had one in mine.
And I wonder to what benefit?
The absence of a father in my life inspired me to be ever present in my own children’s lives.
I thought this would mean that they would see me as the greatest Dad ever. …
Fifteen miles from my home is Sleepy Hollow Cemetery. Its primary claim is the setting for the infamous ride of the Headless Horsemen – the author of which ironically was eventually buried there.
Perhaps less well-known is its status as the resting place of perhaps the richest collection of wealthy individuals this country has known. The names are a who’s who of American wealth — Astor, Dodge, Chrysler, Rockefeller, Watson and Carnegie.…
