Pay. Give. Hold. Demand. Undivided, Limited. Deficit.
All words associated with our attention. Often parts of phrases clamoring to receive some amount of it. The words have an air of desperation to them. Presumably underscoring how difficult a task it is to receive it for any length of time.
The poet, Mary Oliver, wrote frequently of our attention. Imploring us to pay more attention to the natural world around us. On separate occasions, she wrote: “To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work,” and “Instructions for living a life: Pay Attention. Be Astonished. Tell about it.”
As you’re reading this and indeed as I’m writing this, we may feel the tug of attention’s opposite – distraction – siren call. An invitation with the promise of something better, newer, different.
Resist.
Our attention is our currency. It is a reflection of what we care about – whether conscious or not. If we fail to pay attention to those we love, that love atrophies. If we deny our attention to the world around us, we will not take care of it and it will fall in disrepair. If we elect not to pay attention to our own thoughts and actions, then we wander aimlessly failing to notice the patterns in our lives that shape our feelings and relationships.
But attention should not be seen simply as what’s lost when we don’t give it but what can be gained when we do.
When we give our attention deeply, we love deeply. We care deeply. We see deeply. We act deeply.
A deeper life starts with being more intentional with our attention – which is not particularly easy in an age of such easy distraction and chaos. It requires us to listen more and talk less. To lift our heads up, instead of always looking down. To quiet our minds, instead of raising our voices. To observe more and yes, do less.
All of which is easier to write than to do.
This week, try to give your attention some attention. Notice what you’re noticing. When you look up, what do you really, really see? Align your attention to your values.
Then in the words of Oliver, be astonished and tell about it.
Recommendation for the Week. My latest episode of Attribution has just been released. It features my conversation with Jennifer Wallace, author of Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic. It’s a really important conversation – especially for parents and educators – and I hope you’ll have a listen.
If I still have your attention, I hope you’ll share this with someone you want to share more attention to in your life.