I received an email Tuesday morning. It was from my editor wishing me a Happy Book Birthday and telling me to “soak it all in.”
I struggled to do that all day. While I wanted to focus on what should be a very cool experience, I found it difficult to let go of everything else going on in my life. All the other emails needing my attention, a to-do list that never seems to get shorter, kids who want rides, a dog who needs walking – let alone all of what is happening in the world.
Tuesday was a beautiful day. Sunny and breezy. I spend much of the day just aimlessly driving around with the top down. The breeze flowing through my non-existent hair. Listening to music I can’t recall. Still unable to let go and soak anything in.
Finally, that night I laid down on my patio sofa, closed my eyes and once again let the breeze flow over me. I began to think about my new book. I imagined doing readings in schools schools I went to as a child and the always satisfying look on children’s faces. I thought about hand delivering a book to my mom and seeing the look of pride in her face. I even went into the future, envisioning my grandchildren yet to be born seeing Grandpa’s book.
Later that night, I enjoyed a wonderful evening with my wife and kids. While I was daydreaming, they were decorating the living room and kitchen with congratulations banners and balloons. Making my favorite dessert – pumpkin pie. One daughter even learned a new song on the trumpet called America’s Dream in honor of my title character. We went out to a lovely dinner and then came home and shared some laughs.
I guess this is what soaking it in feels like.
The next day, I had an interview in the city for the book. It took place around the corner from where I used to live in Tribeca. I discovered both my favorite diner and bar have since closed. A reminder that time stops for no one.
After the interview, I was at a loss for what to do next. Find a place to work and catch up from the previous day’s negligence? Maybe see a new documentary about Jack Kerouac which is only playing in New York. See if any friends who work in the city are around? I was paralyzed trying to figure out what to do for almost. an hour. Until I decided to just be.
I sat at an old favorite restaurant that remained open. I ordered a glass of wine and a Nicoise salad and just sat there. I resisted the urge to check my phone for the entirety of the meal. A cool breeze came and went. As did a hundred passersby that I otherwise would not have noticed at all. The meal was the best in recent memory.
On Thursday my to-do list awaited. Time to catch up. After a very productive work-day (whatever that means), I played nine holes of golf with my wife. We didn’t talk about the kids or anything in particular. We just enjoyed each other’s company. A cool breeze followed us throughout our round. Which perhaps not coincidentally was one of the best I’ve ever played.
So why am I telling you about my laissez-fare week? And why should you care?
This morning I read an article that talked about how there seems to be an inverse relationship between countries who are economically well off and their reported well-being. The author’s theory for why “money doesn’t buy happiness” was that we prioritize wealth over social and spiritual well-being. This may be true. But I wonder if it might be simpler than that. We prioritize “more” over “what is” in almost every facet of our life.
Breeze has multiple meanings. It is a gentle wind or something that is done with ease. But it is also “to come or go in a lighthearted way.”
Too often, I – and perhaps you – walk through life carrying so much weight of what was, what is, what we need and what could be. It is exhausting and denies us the ability to be present.
It is a gift we give to ourselves when we allow ourselves a moment, a lunch, a day, to put it all down and move more lightly through life. Being the gentle breeze that feels so good to us and others.
On a related note, this morning my wife sent me this Chinese proverb. “Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.”
In other words, be the breeze.
Recommendation this week. Treat yourself to a truly relaxing lunch. Put the phone away and don’t check it once. Soak everything in – the food, your surroundings, the people passing by… and maybe a breeze.
Share this with someone who could benefit from a break.