With just a few days left in the year many, if not most, of us are ready to consign 2020 to the trash heap of history. Eager to look to 2021, we will set goals, make plans and share our hopes for a brighter future.
If you believe that everyday is a blessing or understand recency bias, you will realize that by looking ahead we may be missing an opportunity right in front of our face. …
On any given day, approximately 800,000 people in the United States will celebrate their birthday. When we are young, we sit with a birthday cake before us, surrounded by friends and families and we make a wish to blow out the lit candles marking our years.
In any given year, many of these wishes bear some semblance to one another despite the diversity of the wish makers. …
While walking my dog in the woods nearby, I stopped to marvel at a giant fallen oak. Uprooted from the ground, it was hard to surmise what had toppled this mammoth tree. I was full of wonder at the extensive roots laid bare for all to examine the many connections severed. Feelings of both loss and hope filled me as I was reminded that soon that tree would decompose with its nutrients revitalizing the soil that it would soon become part of.…
When I was a young boy, I loved to listen. I would saddle up next to my Mom, eavesdropping on grown up talk, while cigarette smoke filled the air. I would hole away in my room, laying on the top bunk, listening closely to the lyrics of every song on a new album. Late at night, I’d strain to hear the static filled voices of talk radio hosts, broadcasting from AM stations hundreds of miles away, until I eventually drifted off to sleep. …
I’m not sure I’ve ever felt as blessed as I did this Thanksgiving. It was a day of almost complete harmony among my wife and I and our three daughters.
Our day began with a simple exercise of writing down the many people and things we were grateful for this year, in spite of all that has engulfed our nation and impaired our daily lives.
Under different circumstances, this request could have been met with eye rolls and pleas to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade.…
Daddy, 2020 sucks.” It is this year of sickness, sacrifice, sadness, sucktitude and overall political jackassery, my youngest daughter succinctly summed up what has become all too obvious.
Thanksgiving will soon join the long list of traditions, celebrations, holidays, and rituals that must be adjusted to conform to our new “less than” reality.
Perhaps, though, Thanksgiving is uniquely suited to be “more than” during these times.…
When your children misbehave or act in a way that that drives you crazy, it makes it difficult to follow the guidance of Mr. Rogers to “love your children exactly as they are, without any conditions attached.”
This type of acceptance becomes hard when confronted with a child, or an adult for that matter, who seem defiant or uncompromising. But that is exactly the point.
Accepting someone exactly as they are is a choice.…
Consider this. If you voted in the Presidential election, then regardless of its outcome, there would be 70 million people who disagreed with you. These are not 70 million idiots, socialists, extremists, racists, or rioters. They are your fellow Americans who have different lived experiences, concerns and priorities than you. People who receive their information from different sources than you and are often surrounded by similar folks that reinforce their opinions, knowledge and biases.…
In the 2016 election, over 110 million Americans who were eligible to vote did not. To be more precise, 110,178,918, people over the age of eighteen sat out a race that was decided by less than 80,000 votes.
To put that in further perspective, it is the equivalent of the entire eligible voting populations of the United Kingdom, France AND Belgium deciding not to vote in their respective elections. …
To support someone or something can mean many things. The definition can be either to provide material assistance – often in the form of financial help – or “to bear the weight of something or hold up.”
The former is clearly a lighter lift. We can make a phone call, donate a few dollars, provide a reference etc. The latter is literally a heavier commitment .
If I asked you how many people, causes or organizations you support according to the first definition, it might be a pretty expansive list.…
Which word do you use more often, “We” or “I”?
David Brooks’ column “How to Actually Make America Great Again” reflects on the new book by Robert Putnam and Shaylyn Romney Garrett called The Upswing. It chronicles America’s swing from solidarity (we) to individualism (I) over the last fifty years.
As one point of evidence, the authors cite that the use of the word “I” in American books has doubled between 1965 and 2008.…
It is among the basic needs on Maslow’s hierarchy – just above those physiological needs of food, water, warmth and rest.
We tend to think first of physical safety, but there are many other forms. Consider the following questions:
Do you feel safe from disease?
Do you feel safe from natural disasters?
Do you feel safe from losing your job?
Do you feel like you can safely pay your rent or mortgage?…
In a year defined by sickness, this week has been particularly so.
There are many forms of sickness of which I speak. The obvious one is the coronavirus – whose toll mounts despite having the means right in front of us to control it. Less obvious is the sickness in our politics and civil discourse – not just between members of different political parties but within our families and amongst our friends. …
Are you a person of integrity?
Before you answer this question, consider these two definitions of the word integrity.
“The firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values.” (Merriam Webster)
“The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles that you refuse to change.” (Cambridge)
The key characteristic of both definitions is not the presence of moral principles or a strong moral code but it is the fact that there is a firm adherence to them and that we refuse to change them.…
Zadie Smith is a brilliant writer distinguished by both her accessible prose and astute observations of the human condition. Reading her slender, new volume of six essays called “Intimations” – all written during the pandemic – is like having a conversation with a friend as you go through a difficult time. It is a salve of words.
Among her many gifts is humility. At one point she acknowledges a basic conceit of all writers. …
Our children have many teachers – in school and in life. The role of any teacher, defined either by profession or practice, is always critical to the success of our children. But is profoundly more so during times of great uncertainty — much like the challenging times we live in now.
Teaching is often associated with instruction, but observation and modeling are equally important. We may say, “do as I say not as I do” but in the long run they are more likely to remember and follow our actions than our words.…
If an actor is defined by the roles he or she takes on, then by all accounts Chadwick Boseman was a man defined by dignity, strength and justice. Playing Jackie Robinson, Thurgood Marshall and the Black Panther, among others, Boseman’s talents were undeniable – as were the many ways in which he chose to share his gifts both on and off the screen.
His death last week of colon cancer at the age of 43 stopped me in my tracks – not just because it was a tragic loss of a talented person in their prime – but because the same disease has wreaked havoc in the lives of my family and friends.…
The Constitutional Convention led to the creation of our democracy. The Seneca Falls Convention was the start of the women’s suffrage movement. The Geneva Convention was a series of meetings that led to more humane treatment during times of armed conflict.
Conventions can be events that unite us, that bring together diverse groups with a shared goal and — as the examples above show — lead to important progress.…
I was drowning.
I was just chest high in the water when my feet slipped off the rock and sent me sinking down into the deep end of a swimming hole. I don’t know if I was 7 or 8. Nor do I recall which state park this body of water was located. What I do remember is the abject sense of terror I felt that was only assuaged when my older brother quickly swam to my aid and lifted me out of the water.…
I love the Beyonce song, “I was here.” It’s an inspiring and anthemic reminder and call to action regarding our purpose. Consider these lyrics:
I wanna say I lived each day, until I die
And know that I meant something in somebody’s life
The hearts I have touched will be the proof that I leave
That I made a difference, and this world will see
I was here
In this context and most, “here” refers to the specific time and place that we occupy. …
During these times, many have sought solace in a well-made television series. One that can at the very least escape the time, one that when done well provides a much needed catharsis.
A catharsis is an emotional release – “a process of releasing and thereby providing relief from, strong and repressed emotions.”
Two shows that have provided that effect in our household bear many similarities and a few marked differences. …
I lay in bed trying to fall asleep, my mind struggling to process the hour of bad news I had just watched. At a loss, I wondered what would happen if I just forced myself to smile. I imagine if anyone had seen me, it would have looked quite ridiculous, as I stared at the ceiling trying to hold a forced smile as long as I could.
The first five seconds were legitimately challenging, perhaps evidence that these muscles had atrophied a bit during these last several months. Eventually, as…
It’s like ”playing a game of 3D chess while standing on one leg in the middle of a hurricane.”
These were the words Richmond Superintendent of Schools and former recipient of the National Teacher of the Year, Jason Kamras, used to describe the process of planning for the opening of schools.
This vivid simile captures the complexity (3D chess), dexterity (standing on one leg) and danger (hurricane), that is inherent in what seems like a near impossible task.…
I find “results” to be a perplexing word.
When you see “results’ in print is your instinct to read it as a noun? As in “I want results.” Or do you read it as a verb — “when I do this, it results in that?”
Its origins date back to the French “resilire” which means “to rebound” and is the root word for resilience. There is a looseness and flexibility in its original meaning that I admire.…
When I think of a line, I typically think of something that is finite in length or duration. We may wait in a line for gas or we may draw a line as part of a picture.
I just learned that in purely math terms, a line actually refers to something that is “a straight one-dimensional figure having no thickness and extending infinitely in both directions.”…
