My wife recently signed me up for a trial Tai Chi Qigong class. I was admittedly skeptical going in, but the class itself was a wonderful exercise in being present in your own mind and body. In the process, getting a better appreciation of your own sources of energy.
As part of the trial class, I also received a thirty minute consultation session after. I sat criss-cross applesauce across from the instructor, who was half my age. She proceeded to ask me several questions about my life. At one point asking “What do I do?” I proceeded to rattle off a list of the many different roles I play with some detail (writer, podcast host, children’s author, consultant, teacher, soccer coach and of course dad and husband.) Her immediate reply was, “Do you think that’s sustainable?” My mind said “No”, but my mouth said, “I think so.”
I love doing all of those things but acknowledged to her that it was a lot and finding balance was not always easy.
The key she shared was a strong foundation.
She suggested that there are two ways to create a better foundation in the hopes of better balance. One was obvious, “do less.” Subtract. The other was less obvious. “Expand yourself.” The latter is a recognition that in some ways we were boundless but often inefficient – thrown off balance by the constant noise and competing interests in our own mind.
Consider this metaphor. Imagine you are standing on one leg. Each role you play in your life is represented by a bag you are holding. If you have ten bags you are constantly shifting them around from one hand to the other in the hopes you may be steady. Finding balance may be easier if you just reduce the number of bags you’re always carrying.
Conversely, imagine that instead of holding so many bags at once. They instead all sit behind you. Out of sight out of mind. When the time comes to focus on one role, you just pick up that bag. While still on one foot, it is now far easier to maintain balance.
This type of focus and compartmentalization is not as simple as it sounds. It requires practice, patience and a good amount of self-care. It also asks us to recognize the space in between. That moment when we switch roles – for example going from being a worker to being a parent. In that moment where we put down one bag and lift another, we should do so with intention and generosity of spirit. Taking as many deep breaths as we need to safely transition from one to another.
This is what I believe she meant when she talked about expanding ourselves. Giving us the opportunity to add to who we are and how we contribute to the world rather than always feeling as if we are being torn in different directions, always off-balance, and being less than we could be in every role we play.
May you find balance this week and all that follow.
Recommendation: Watch Simone Biles Rising on Netflix. In a sport where balance is everything, this moving documentary shares Biles’ comeback story from Tokyo to the eve of the Paris Olympics. A must watch to appreciate how central mental health is to our well-being.