Rules for a Knight by Ethan Hawke is a charming and wisdom filled slim book. It is written as a letter that one of his ancestors left his children before heading off to a battle from which he was unsure to return. He shares twenty values that his children should live by – if they wish to be a noble knight like himself. Within each there is a brief fable that illustrates the value in practice.…
There is a passage in Richard Power’s thought-provoking new novel, Bewilderment, that I find myself returning to again and again.
It describes an epiphany of sorts he has when considering his son and the undiagnosed mental health issues he is dealing with. He writes:
“Watching medicine fail my child, I developed a crackpot theory: Life is something we need to stop correcting. My boy was a pocket universe I could never hope to fathom.…
What is the relationship between kindness and success? Some might suggest that to be successful we must, to some extent anyways, be driven, achievement oriented, perhaps even a little selfish. You know the old adage, “Nice guys finish last.”
I recently stumbled upon some old research that debunks that thinking.
In this study, kindergarten teachers measured their students across a host of “kindness” metrics – such as “shares materials” and “is helpful to others.”…
I have kept a file of all the rejection letters I’ve ever received. Two novels, dozens of short stories, even several poems all rejected by one agent, publisher or publication or another. In my emails, there are probably thousands of other examples of my ideas or proposals being turned down. Of course, there are also those instances where I never even received a reply. This says nothing of the slew of personal rejections that have amassed between my socially awkward high school years until I met and married my lovely wife.…
We often romanticize the idea of struggling. We believe that some struggle on the way to achieving any desired outcome is somehow noble or part of how our character is forged.
But to see anyone, especially a loved one, truly struggle, is heart wrenching. When I say truly struggle, I mean in the strict definition of the word, “to make strenuous or violent efforts in the face of difficulties or opposition.” …
When I was young, I would often wait until the precise moment when my sister had a mouthful of cereal before unleashing something silly or ridiculous. My only goal was to create sufficient laughter to cause the milk in her mouth to shoot out of her nose. I was remarkably successful.
Growing up, I would often take any proverbial stage in an effort to make others laugh. …
I recently finished reading the Booker Prize winning novel Shuggie Bain. It was an especially difficult read as it conjured up memories from my own childhood that I don’t often like to revisit. A time when my mother’s struggles dominated our life.
If there was a silver lining in this brilliant but bleak book, it was to serve as a reminder of the absolutely pivotal role my brother has played in my life.…
In conjunction with Women’s History Month, my 11 year old daughter came home from school with an assignment to write a paper about a female member of her family that was no longer with us.
She chose her great grandmother, whom she never had the chance to meet but shares a middle name.
As part of this assignment she had to interview at least two members of our family who knew Nana using a series of questions supplied by her teacher.…
If you rode the school bus when you were a child, do you remember who you sat next to? Can you see the faces of the other kids on that bus? Do you know or maybe wonder where any of them are today?
In his book Tightrope: Americans Reaching for Hope, Pulitzer prize winning New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof talks about his number 6 bus in Yamhill, Oregon.…
If you rode the school bus when you were a child, do you remember who you sat next to? Can you see the faces of the other kids on that bus? Do you know or maybe wonder where any of them are today?
In his book Tightrope: Americans Reaching for Hope, Pulitzer prize winning New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof talks about his number 6 bus in Yamhill, Oregon.…
I did not see the straw that broke the camel’s back. But the reasons that compelled my 9 year old to repeatedly whip a tennis ball into her sister’s masterpiece lego house on wheels presumably ran deep into the sinkhole that was 2020.
After going all Godzilla on her sister’s prized creation, she ran down the hall and locked herself in her room. I had been getting ready for the day and missed the fireworks and the twenty minutes of sequestration that followed.…
When I was a young boy, I loved to listen. I would saddle up next to my Mom, eavesdropping on grown up talk, while cigarette smoke filled the air. I would hole away in my room, laying on the top bunk, listening closely to the lyrics of every song on a new album. Late at night, I’d strain to hear the static filled voices of talk radio hosts, broadcasting from AM stations hundreds of miles away, until I eventually drifted off to sleep. …
I’m not sure I’ve ever felt as blessed as I did this Thanksgiving. It was a day of almost complete harmony among my wife and I and our three daughters.
Our day began with a simple exercise of writing down the many people and things we were grateful for this year, in spite of all that has engulfed our nation and impaired our daily lives.
Under different circumstances, this request could have been met with eye rolls and pleas to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade.…
When your children misbehave or act in a way that that drives you crazy, it makes it difficult to follow the guidance of Mr. Rogers to “love your children exactly as they are, without any conditions attached.”
This type of acceptance becomes hard when confronted with a child, or an adult for that matter, who seem defiant or uncompromising. But that is exactly the point.
Accepting someone exactly as they are is a choice.…
Our children have many teachers – in school and in life. The role of any teacher, defined either by profession or practice, is always critical to the success of our children. But is profoundly more so during times of great uncertainty — much like the challenging times we live in now.
Teaching is often associated with instruction, but observation and modeling are equally important. We may say, “do as I say not as I do” but in the long run they are more likely to remember and follow our actions than our words.…
I was drowning.
I was just chest high in the water when my feet slipped off the rock and sent me sinking down into the deep end of a swimming hole. I don’t know if I was 7 or 8. Nor do I recall which state park this body of water was located. What I do remember is the abject sense of terror I felt that was only assuaged when my older brother quickly swam to my aid and lifted me out of the water.…
It’s like ”playing a game of 3D chess while standing on one leg in the middle of a hurricane.”
These were the words Richmond Superintendent of Schools and former recipient of the National Teacher of the Year, Jason Kamras, used to describe the process of planning for the opening of schools.
This vivid simile captures the complexity (3D chess), dexterity (standing on one leg) and danger (hurricane), that is inherent in what seems like a near impossible task.…
Inside Bill’s Brain is a documentary series that invites us to see how Bill Gates thinks. Among the more remarkable practices is his long standing “think weeks,” where perplexed by a particular problem, he loads up a bag of books on that topic and takes off to a secluded cabin where he just thinks about that issue. Returning hopefully with a deeper understanding, a plan of action, perhaps even some solutions worthy of exploration.…
It is my favorite word. To hear anyone of my three daughters call me “Daddy” is a delight, even when it is to register a complaint or voice frustration. There is an innate tenderness to the term that I never want to go away. I have never heard my daughters call me dad or father, although I’m guessing they use those terms whenever referring to me with their friends or teachers. …
“What kind of tree can you fit into your hand?” —- “a palm tree.”
Each morning our daughter’s elementary school principal shares a taped video message. She concludes it with a joke submitted by a student – similar to the one above. This ritual is a new one, as previously the morning announcements in school did not include any joke telling.
While not privy to the reason behind this addition. My…
“That is very kind of you” I said to the man on the train who offered up his seat so I could sit next to my mother. I’m not sure why I used that somewhat antiquated phrase. Perhaps it is because I have been thinking of kindness a lot lately.
It began last month when my wife and I took our three daughters to see Little Women.…
As I walked my dog on a blistery January morning, I noticed that every block or two, bundled up children were being dutifully escorted to their street corner. Waiting for the bus to take them to elementary school.
It would be impossible to know the exact political orientation of the parents and grandparents who had risen early and braved the cold that morning. But given that particular Pennsylvania town’s voting history, one might surmise that it was divided politically. …
We’ve all been there. Seemingly out of nowhere, a child just loses it. These meltdowns have an almost surreal beginning, leaving us wondering, “Where the hell is this coming from? “ They quickly escalate into an exorcist-like demonic possession. What else can possibly explain what is being spewed from the mouths of babes? The litany of complaints, grievances, and injustices fly out like one speaking in tongues.…
I was on a roll. After weeks of having task after task pile up and doing my best to just stay above water, I was now laying waste to a to do list and email box that had seemed hopelessly out of control.
I felt like a castaway who was adrift at sea for weeks but could finally see paradise on the horizon.
Just then, my eleven-year-old daughter came bounding into my room demanding playfully “Lift me up!”…
On a recent flight, I decided to watch the movie, The Last Jedi.
During one scene, Luke Skywalker dispels a long held myth about “the force.” Over many films the assumption was that the force was something that one possessed, an internal feeling or power that was universally good. Here Luke explains to the young Rey that the force is actually a connection we have with our world and with each other.…
