Over the last several months, I’ve confided in a handful of family and friends about some challenges I’ve been facing. Without fail, they were supportive; listening with care and offering wise perspective
A few days ago, however, I realized that with a few expectations, most have never followed up to check in and see how I was doing. Asking if things had gotten better or if I wanted to talk.…
Emerson once wrote that ‘In every work of genius, we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty.”
With this definition in mind, songwriters are a particular type of genius creators. With a melody and relatively few words (usually between 100-300), the best have a rare ability to sing to us as if the words were moving from our own minds to mouths.…
I don’t know where it comes from and it can be overwhelming.
I wear many, many hats. With each one of them comes a certain amount of joy and responsibility. At any given time, I feel as if I am likely failing in one capacity or another, sometimes more.
This potential failure is a threat to my ego. My sense of self as someone who is high achieving or “can do it all.”…
For homework, I told my students to go for a walk. The class was Creative Team Dynamics at the Parsons School of Design. I asked them to observe the interactions between people. Some may have been acting in concert towards a common goal, others in obvious conflict, while others still somewhere in between.
In class this week, they shared what they noticed. Many recalled sweet images of children with their parents or couples on a walk.…
Three months ago, as part of the launch of my children’s book, America’s Dreaming, I had a goal of giving away at least one hundred Welcome Wagons filled with books about belonging and kindness to communities of need in the country.
I also had no idea how to make that happen.
Flash forward, we’ve raised enough money for the first hundred wagons and have established partnerships with wonderful organizations like Radio Flyer, Penguin Young Readers, Welcoming America, Raising a Reader, Booked Authors and Brilliant Detroit.…
The familiar picture frame stopped me in my tracks. Reading, “#1 Dad” it was in an exhibit called “Many Voices, One Nation” at the Smithsonian Museum of American History. It sat there with a collection of other items including a toothbrush, comb and glass case. All united by the fact they were found in the desert, forgotten on someone’s journey north from Mexico into America.
I wonder how many father’s over the course of our two-hundred forty-eight year history felt like a #1 Dad for taking extraordinary chances and journeys in the hopes of providing a better life for their family.…
By the time you read this, I will have attended three very different parties over the course of a week.
The first was a celebration of life for a dear friend who died way too young. Friends from her college days and early New York years gathered to remember a life so bright that to simply say her name would bring a smile to your face.…
Several weeks ago a former student reached out to me via LinkedIn looking for some career guidance. He was a great student, a good person with impressive experience for his age. However, given that his field was software engineering, there was little I could offer him….except for my connections. After dropping the ball for a few weeks, he nudged me – as I suggested he do if he hadn’t heard from me.…
Yesterday, I was blindsided by a phone call letting me know that a mutual friend of ours had died.
I have been sad ever since.
To be blindsided is to be hit unexpectedly. The pain is amplified exponentially because you are wholly unprepared.
While on a rational level we know that all people die, we have an expectation that it should only happen after someone has had a chance to live a long and fulfilling life.…
Happy New Year.
Before we jump into 2024, many of us might spend some time reflecting back upon 2023. Among the many questions we ask ourselves are those related to accomplishments; What did we do? What do we have to show for the year? What did we produce?
As I look back, I feel incredibly fortunate to have worked with or been supported by so many talented, wonderful people and organizations that have allowed me to produce more than a handful of things that I can take pride in.…
Over the last year, I’ve received a few notes, emails or texts that included the specific phrase, “I appreciate you.”
Prior to this year I don’t know if I’ve ever seen, said or received those exact words in any form of communication. Now, of course, it’s quite possible that only recently have I done anything worthy enough to receive such a warm and thoughtful collection of words.…
As part of my season of giving, I asked the waitress if she could add the bill from the two police officers sitting in the adjacent booth to my tab.
Smiling, she told me that the couple by the window had already made this anonymous gesture. In turn, I asked the waitress if I could pay for that couple’s meal. That too, she said, had been taken care of.…
In the movie The Intern, Anne Hathaway plays the founder of a tech/fashion startup and Robert DeNiro is her unlikely “senior intern.” At the company’s open layout office, there is a tradition where a bell is rung to celebrate an achievement. You can ring the bell to announce that you’ve done something noteworthy or in recognition of someone else’s efforts or accomplishments. When the bell is rung, everyone stops what they’re doing for a moment to cheer or clap, before going right back to what they were doing.…
Thanks to everyone who responded to my ask to like, share, or comment on last week’s newsletter.
It was very generous of you and very much appreciated.
This morning I read this op-ed by David Brooks in the New York Times who makes a compelling case that people are, by and large, more generous than we give them credit for.
He cited a meta analysis of studies that measured people’s propensity to act generously or selfishly in various situations.…
School schedules came out this week. There was an error on my oldest daughter’s schedule and she contacted her guidance counselor to see if she could correct it.
The counselor’s initial solutions were less than ideal. They appeared, understandably, to be the easiest for the school to accommodate but not for my daughter to actually experience day-to-day.
I encouraged her to respond and ask if there were any other options.…
When you read the title of this email, the first thought you probably have is of someone who is unselfish and puts others before themselves.
A more literal interpretation of the word is the title of a new book by Brian Lowery, PhD at the Stanford University Graduate School of Business. In this provocative and accessible book, Lowery makes the case that there is no such thing as a self – inner or otherwise – that we control or create.…
This week has been marked by delays. Delays by their very nature can be maddening and disheartening – particularly when we feel as if we have no control over them and the action that is being delayed is timely.
I took the first notification “Your flight is delayed” in stride as it was only 25 minutes and a modest flight delay is predictable. By the seventh “Your flight is delayed email” we had entered the land of the surreal.…
The community turned out en masse. The line inside and outside the funeral home snaked; people waited over two hours to pay their respects to a man who was a pillar in the community for decades. The heat and the crowd swelled as the family received friends, colleagues and admirers for six hours. After texting my daughters that we’d be longer than expected and letting them know they would need to fend for themselves for dinner, one astutely noted in her reply, “a long line is a good thing.” …
I have lived a blessed life with so much to be grateful for. Perhaps naturally, my regrets are limited not to any major life decision but rather rest almost exclusively in the domain of how and when I showed up for other people.
Generally speaking I’d like to consider myself a pretty decent human being yet there are times when I have not been decent to others.…
Years ago I read about an Oakland school that was having increasing issues with student behavior. Fights and disruptions would break out with regularity and teachers were struggling to create an atmosphere conducive to learning.
The proposed solution was simple. Give the kids a break.
Many of the children were carrying to school not just their backpacks but the stress and trauma from difficult circumstances in their homes and neighborhoods.…
There are many forms and reasons for silence. Here are three for your consideration:
The first is silence that we allow ourselves. In the chaos of daily life and content at our fingertips to fill a million lifetimes, increasingly we seem to leave less time to just sit in silence. When we quiet our own minds we give ourselves the gift of self-awareness and openness. The word inspiration comes from a latin term meaning “breath into.” …
Imagine if every time you fell or failed there would be someone to catch you. If every chance you were about to take felt a little less risky. If every opportunity felt a little more attainable. If the impact of every blow born from tragedy or crisis was blunted simply by another’s presence.
How wonderful it is to know and feel like you are unconditionally supported.…
Twice I sat in my bedroom chair and wept.
Spaced over the course of a week both instances involved a question of support. In the first instance, I was overwhelmed by offers of assistance when my wife was unexpectedly hospitalized for almost a week. Friends reaching out to see if we were ok, needed anything, just to say they were here for us. One brought over dinner, another bought us a week of groceries.…
A boy tags along with his stepbrother to a casting session.
To his surprise, he is selected to do background work as an extra on a children’s show.
An assistant director sees something in the boy and begins giving him acting books as he’s never acted before. Later he offers tips on how to stand out from the crowd.
Eventually the boy becomes a regular on other children’s shows, gets a few small movies, is cast in a small but memorable part of a Quentin Tarantino movie, does some theater in Los Angeles before begin chosen to act opposite Denzel Washington in a Broadway production of The Iceman Cometh.…
You’ve probably never heard of Hody Childress. He was a stranger to me as well until I recently read of his passing and his incredible legacy of anonymous kindness.
Thirteen years ago, Hody asked his pharmacist a simple question, “Do you ever have anyone come in who can’t afford their medication?” The pharmacist replied, “All the time.” Hody responded by pulling out a folded hundred dollar bill and telling the pharmacist that the next time that happens, “Use this.”…
