“Not in my lifetime,” lamented the older woman at the train station. She was looking out at the adjacent Hudson River and referring to the lack of long-promised development on our waterfront. The lack of progress over generations presumably due to some combination of owners who need to remediate it from intense pollution and contamination caused by factories long closed and a village who is happy to have it transformed into a public park but resistant to commercial or residential development. While her complaint is one I share, she was a stranger to me and her comment and ensuing ten minute diatribe were not the way I wanted to begin my Thursday morning.
I had been reflecting upon the idea of “a lifetime” after reading a passage in this book. That context referred to the more positive phrase, “once in a lifetime.”
“Not in my lifetime” and “once in a lifetime” both look at the term from the perspective of limits or scarcity. Yet our lifetimes, regardless of length, represent an abundance of specific moments – all with the potential to be appreciated in their own unique way.
When we hear “once in a lifetime” we often think of a special occasion. We have seen or done something that we don’t expect to do more than once. Yet every moment or memory, regardless of how ordinary or mundane, is itself a once in a lifetime experience. For once it is over it is gone. You may have eaten a hundred oranges in your lifetime and may plan to eat many more, but each one is unique in its flavor; each time specific to what you brought to that moment. The combination of which impacts how much you appreciated that orange and that tiny slice of your life.
The same holds true for those once in a lifetime moments we wish never happened. I heard an interesting turn of phrase regarding games earlier this week. You win or you learn. The latter reflects one’s openness to see each slice of life, regardless of how sad, disappointing or bitter, as an opportunity to grow. Perhaps allowing us to better appreciate the next once in a lifetime moment – like the one happening right now.
Which brings me back to the train station. It was a once in a lifetime encounter. I may never see that woman again or if I do we may never speak or engage. Her choice in that moment was to voice her disappointment. My choice was to offer short replies mildly affirming her feelings. In another lifetime, perhaps we would have shifted our attention to the awe-inspiring Palisades on the other side of the river, maybe exchanged names or smiles or shared ideas on how we could get others together to become more active in the development of our waterfront. None of which happened in that lifetime. You win or you learn though. So I hope I am more present when a similar opportunity arises – able to contribute something more positive.
When we consider that every moment is a once in a lifetime opportunity, it presents an avenue to savor what is right in front of us. It also, by its fleeting nature, provides an abundance of hope.
I hope you make the most of your next “once in a lifetime moment.” If you can’t or don’t, try not to worry, there is another one coming right around the corner.
This week’s recommendation: Savor something soon. Whether your next meal, the next piece of music you listen to, the next thing you see. Take it all in and appreciate it for whatever it is – no matter how good, bad, big or small.