On Thanksgiving, many shared thoughts of people, experiences or things that they are grateful for this year. It is perhaps the best thing about the holiday. The ability to pause from our busy lives, reflect on what we’re thankful for and reach out to share our gratitude with others. A practice by the way, that is best exercised every day, especially during difficult times. As Michael J. Fox wrote in his moving memoir, “With gratitude, optimism becomes sustainable.”
Yet there is another way of thinking about gratitude that perhaps we don’t consider enough and might even be more effective in sustaining us. My wife shared an article with me about how to make holiday expressions of gratitude “less cringy” for your kids. One of the practices, “gratitude in reverse,” suggested thinking about all those people who are grateful FOR YOU or something you’ve done.
At first blush, this might seem a little self-serving or even antithetical to the idea of expressing gratitude. But upon closer examination, it is simply a grace we are giving ourselves; a potentially profound act of self-care. It is an exercise that reminds us of how much we matter to others.
Jennifer B. Wallace writes extensively about this idea of mattering and how important it is to our own well-being and mental health. On one hand, it is critical that “we all appreciate that we are valued for who we are at our core,” and on the other, “that we can add meaningful value to the lives of others.”
It makes me feel good to think that there might be many people out there who are grateful for who I am or what I do. Beyond my family and friends, perhaps it’s the kids I coach or the students I teach. Or people, like yourself, who might find some value out of what I create or write. Others whose businesses I support. Even my dog who appreciates when I play with him or scratch him behind the ears. It is funny that I smile and feel good simply writing this paragraph now. Such are the benefits of reflecting on who you matter to.
Recently I was fortunate to appear on The Kelly Clarkson Show to talk about America’s Dreaming, The Welcome Wagon project and the influence of my 5th teacher, Mr. Jack Downs. I felt very grateful for the people who helped make it happen. My elementary school, which was featured in the segment, shared the clip and it stoked an immediate outpouring of love for Mr. Downs, who sadly died several years ago. I hope he knew how much he mattered to his students. I suspect he did.
As the holiday season unfolds, I hope you continue to express gratitude for others while also showing grace towards yourself by stopping to think of the people out there who are grateful for you right now.
Recommendation of the Week. We just revealed the cover to my next children’s book, America Gives Thanks. It’s a unique spin on gratitude and again features Mr. Downs and his young student America. The cover alone might bring a smile to your face and I hope you consider ordering one now while it’s on pre-sale.