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Now on to this week’s post….
As I waited for my wife and daughter to join me at a local restaurant for dinner, I could not help but overhear the conversation of the four elderly people sitting next to me.
One man who seemed older than the rest of his friends – likely in his 80s – caught my attention in particular. He was asked by a friend about his evening routine. He detailed how each night, he would make himself a cup of tea and set five to six cookies on a plate. He turned on the TV to the only channel he ever tuned into – PBS. Slowly he would savor each cookie as he would watch something “fascinating.” Another friend asked him if that’s all he had for dinner and he replied, “Yes, though sometimes later I’ll go back and eat some of what Meals-on-Wheels brought me that day. “
Later in the conversation, I heard him talking about his wife. Apparently she is in a facility now. He visits her every day, although if I heard correctly she doesn’t always remember who he is. Still he goes. He lit up noting that he spent some time with his son that day as well – seemingly a particular source of joy.
When the time for dessert came, they noted its expensive price. They discussed getting one and splitting it for the table but decided to get three. Two to share now and as a surprise – they would send one home with their older friend.
After they ordered dessert, I got up from my table and discretely asked the waitress if I could anonymously pay for their check. She obliged.
The four friends were perplexed when they learned someone had picked up their tab. Their sleuthing was endearing. They wondered if their older friend had spoken to someone when he came in or perhaps it was a friend of his son’s treating them. Two of them managed to see the check and my signature on it. They began discussing if they knew anyone named McKinnon. They did not. As they left, they vowed to get to the bottom of it. The older man joking, “This was so nice. We’ll have to do it again soon and make sure we tell that McKinnon guy we’re coming.” I tried not to laugh and give myself away.
This was not the first time I bought dinner for an older neighbor although I could and should do it more frequently for the simple reason that I can. I’ve done it previously when seeing someone who reminds me of my own grandmother or mom. Once, I did it when hearing a woman lament at how high the prices had gotten at the local diner.
This time was a little different. Our village had just gone through a contentious debate as to whether we should support a new school bond. Those in favor argued we should invest in our schools and our children. Those in opposition argued against turf fields, the process, the overall cost, and the impact on some taxpayers for whom this would create a financial hardship. The bond passed the evening before.
I did not know whether these seniors were for or against the bond. From their comments about Meals on Wheels or splitting dessert, I inferred that perhaps it might impact them negatively from a financial standpoint.
Bonds can be defined in many different ways. The school bond represents “a certificate issued by a government or a public company promising to repay borrowed money at a fixed rate of interest at a specified time.”
But a bond is also a “a relationship between people or groups based on shared feelings, interests, or experiences.”
In this case, in just a few minutes I felt a bond with that table of my neighbors as I shared their appreciation of friendship and conversation. Their enjoyment watching PBS. I also had a dear friend who for many years benefited from Meals-on-Wheels. I too light up when I spend time with my kids. Finally, I was so moved by the unconditional dedication and devotion to his wife, reminding me of how much I love my own.
We often complain of our deeply divided country. Understandably so. But I believe -and this story illustrates – that there are far more ties that bind us than divide us. If only we take a moment to truly listen to each other do we recognize or remember them. Perhaps then we become compelled to act and make them stronger.
Recommendation of the Week: Buy a stranger a cup of coffee or a meal. It’s a wonderful investment in your community.
Share this with someone you feel a bond with.