In the early fall, high schools, colleges and universities across the country celebrate homecoming. This tradition began at the collegiate level in the late 1800’s as a way to welcome back alumni. It expanded to high schools in the 1920’s and 1930’s.
Of course, homecoming also conveys a broader meaning. We celebrate homecomings when members of the military return from service. In certain religions, a pilgrimage is a form of spiritual homecoming. Parents await long weekends or breaks when their children come home from college.
Coming home brings connection, pride, warmth and belonging – whether it be on a campus or a different type of community.
Robert Frost once wrote, “Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.”
This weekend happens to be our high school’s homecoming. It is a week filled with spirit, night games, and celebration – regardless of what the scoreboard says.
It also marks my oldest daughter’s first return home from college. It is amazing how good it feels to simply have her in our presence again. Ordinary events like seeing her in her familiar seat at the dining room table, watching her gab with her sisters, sitting beside us on the couch watching Ted Lasso or just wishing her good night as she goes off to bed – all feel somehow special.
I have not given my own mother that special feeling nearly enough.
It is estimated that 25%-35% of children who move away from home return to stay. Almost 60% of children end up living within ten miles of their parents.
If only I could be so lucky when my children are grown.
On Thursday night through absolute serendipity, I was given a free ticket to see the play Other Desert Cities ten minutes before the curtain rose. It too is about a homecoming. One that is designed to have a family confront its unspoken past and perhaps in doing so bring them closer. At one point the father says, “We’ve spent the last six years trying to create a space where Brooke [their daughter] wants to come home. Where she feels safe.”
The comfort of returning home and the safety it brings should be felt everywhere we call home. Whether that’s where we went to school or wherever we return to each night to lay our head.
It was sad dropping my daughter off at the airport after a stay that felt all too short. But I took solace not only in knowing that she will be coming home again in a month for Thanksgiving but also feeling that her very welcoming college is also starting to feel like home to her as well.
We don’t need parades or games to celebrate homecoming. We simply need people who make us feel like we belong, who in the words of Frost – “will always take us in.”
Recommendation of the Week: I’m enjoying Alex Warren’s new album – much of which is a tribute to his parents who have both passed. Among my favorite songs are “Same Stars” and “Miss You More.” They are poignant reminders to appreciate those we love while they are still here..
Share this with someone yearning to go home.