I sat on a park bench having coffee with an old friend. A man came up to us asking if we had any change. In our increasingly money-less society, we did not. Still he smiled and offered a small bouquet of flowers freshly picked from the park to my friend. He complimented her, made a few mildly inappropriate jokes which resulted in a shared laugh among the three of us and went off about his day. The three of us all the better from his simple offering.
When our coffee was finished and it was time to go, my friend suggested we give the flowers to someone else. We agreed that an older woman sitting across from us would be a good person for our offering.
What happened next was even more extraordinary than what had happened before.
Upon receiving our offer, the older woman slowly rose to her feet. Tears began to well in her eyes as she shared how she had been going through a very difficult time. Clearly touched by this random act of kindness, she asked my friend if she could give her a hug – which she happily obliged.
Strangers in a park. A simple bouquet of flowers. Jokes, laughs, tears, a hug, gratitude, human connection.
All the result of a simple offering.
An offering at the most basic level is defined as “something tendered for acceptance.” Tendered – what a lovely word. It implies the value is in the gesture, not the object itself.
How simply it is to offer something to someone. A smile, a complement, anything we feel someone might need or accept. And how wonderful it is to receive one.
We live in fragile times. Most of us, whether sitting on a park bench or alone with our thoughts, have some worry or anxiety stirring within us below the surface. To borrow a phrase from Thoreau, it is a “quiet desperation.” Desperate for connection or relief. An offering presents an opportunity for a little of both.
I often go through my days offering very little to strangers. I try to be polite. Hold a door for the person behind me, apologize when I accidentally invade a stranger’s pace, and reactively help someone who might drop something. But I usually don’t proactively seek out connection or offer even as much as a smile to someone I don’t know.
I ask myself why not and don’t have a particularly good answer.
How simple it would be to offer smiles to everyone who passes us, provide a compliment to a person next to us on a train, wish the people we are crammed in the elevator with a good day. Science shows us that these types of interactions are good for both the person offering and the person receiving.
The simple offering from a man, who materially seemed to have little but in spirit was quite rich, helped make the day of two strangers who in turn presumably did the same for a third.
Which is another beautiful thing about offerings – they have a multiplier effect.
Consider this note an offering to you. You are unique and awesome and I hope you have a wonderful week.
This Week’s Recommendation: Sara Bareille’s new album “Good Grief” is a beautiful testament to the human spirit. With vulnerability and community she shares stories of her own loss. It is an offering to others who may be searching for ways to process their own.
Consider sharing this note as an offering to someone who could use a little pick me up.