A few weeks ago, I was watching TV with my youngest daughter. A commercial came on for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. At the end, they asked for a recommended donation of $20 a month to support a child struggling with cancer. My daughter matter-of-factly asked me if we already support one of their patients. I told her we don’t but that we sponsor four other children through different organizations and have been sponsoring kids since before she was born.…
My heart was full. I looked out at a sea of smiling second graders. I was returning to the school district that many years ago taught me how to read, write and do arithmetic. I was now there to read my own children’s book, America Gives Thanks, and for this full circle moment I felt so incredibly blessed.
Like I did at their age, almost all of these students live in a low-income household.
In class this week, I asked fifteen college students to write down the names of three people in the world they admired but that they didn’t know personally. Two things struck me. One, almost everyone struggled to come up with three names. Two, no person was mentioned twice.
This inquiry was spurred on from a conversation I had the previous night with a friend. We similarly struggled to find what would be today’s equivalent of Gandhi, Mandela, RBG, Mother Theresa, Eisenhower, Churchill, MLK, and Rosa Parks.…
Two of my favorite books, All The Light We Cannot See and The Unbearable Lightness of Being have light in their titles. I can still remember all the words to my favorite song, This Little Little of Mine from church when I was a little kid. All ruminate on the need to see, feel, act and share light.
These reminders are in contrast to our lives, which can often feel heavy or even dark.…
Fall is upon us. It brings with it both excitement and trepidation. The first day of school is exciting. The anticipation of the school work, trepidation. Luscious colors will figment leaves and then eventually fall and be in need of raking. It is a season of transition and, as such, one naturally beset with the yin and yang of daily life.
It is perhaps my favorite season.…
I received an email Tuesday morning. It was from my editor wishing me a Happy Book Birthday and telling me to “soak it all in.”
I struggled to do that all day. While I wanted to focus on what should be a very cool experience, I found it difficult to let go of everything else going on in my life. All the other emails needing my attention, a to-do list that never seems to get shorter, kids who want rides, a dog who needs walking – let alone all of what is happening in the world.…
As I sat outside drinking my morning coffee, reading Lydia Millet’s wonderful book, We Loved it All, I was so struck by a passage that I took a picture of it for safe keeping and read it aloud to those sitting with me.
“Happiness is a wavering mirage that shimmers on the horizon, a promise of sudden deliverance that supports the passive attendance of our lives.…
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Now on to this week’s post….…
Last week, I enjoyed the surprisingly moving, new Marvel movie, Thunderbolts. It features a ragtag group of superheroes, united by their conflicted pasts. The primary villain in the movie – as I see it – is shame. Shame is not the name of a specific villain but a feeling that debilitates all of us – even superheroes with otherworldly powers. In the film, shame’s specter envelops those it touches – both literally and figuratively.…
“Why do they call it cologne for men and perfume for women?” was the question my youngest daughter posed to me as she lay in bed, after a long day.
My initial instinct was to offer a guess. Perhaps it’s based on where each originated geographically. She rightfully questioned this theory. Eventually, I admitted my ignorance as I really had no idea. I told her I would look it up and let her know the next day.…
I have been transfixed by stages lately. Last week, I watched three showings of Mamma Mia bathed in joy. Last night, I listened intently to the group Black Violin bend musical genres.
Stages are not limited to theaters. I love watching my children on athletic fields, delighted when hearing others call their names and cheer them on.
Stages don’t require a large audience, either. One person watching you as you are locked in on any given task in any given place, qualifies according to one Englishman’s definition.…
Last week, I wrote down a friend’s name. The mere thought of him brought a smile to my face – the byproduct of a thousand good times together.
A few days later, I watched my daughter perform in her high school’s joyous production of Mamma Mia. I smiled through the whole first act and most of the second. At various times, I looked over at my wife and other two daughters – often exchanging knowing smiles.…
My wife and I have been watching the show, The Pitt lately. Each episode covers one hour of a twelve hour shift in an emergency room in a Pittsburgh hospital. The show is tremendous in every way; full of humanity and dignity.
One storyline focused on a pair of siblings trying to do what’s right by their father who is dying. At some point to help them cope with this incredibly difficult situation, the doctor introduces them to the Hawaiian concept of Ho’oponopono.…
Pay. Give. Hold. Demand. Undivided, Limited. Deficit.
All words associated with our attention. Often parts of phrases clamoring to receive some amount of it. The words have an air of desperation to them. Presumably underscoring how difficult a task it is to receive it for any length of time.
The poet, Mary Oliver, wrote frequently of our attention. Imploring us to pay more attention to the natural world around us.…
He immigrated to the United States to seek greater economic opportunities but stayed here illegally before he was given a path to citizenship. He received government assistance. He started a business, hired American workers, paid taxes, and bought a home.
These facts are not uncommon parts of an immigrant’s journey. Most come here for better opportunities. Forty percent of undocumented immigrants came here legally but overstayed their visas.…
With the celebrations and conventions of Valentine’s Day behind us, a few words on love.
It is interesting to note that although I have written these notes every week for almost ten years, I’ve never written one exclusively focused on what Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. referred to as the “most durable power in the world.” It is a surprising omission. After all, what could possibly help us move up in life more than love?…
Have you ever wondered where your imagination comes from? I had given it little thought until recently while reading the book, Why We Remember.
It is a fascinating exploration on how our memory works but it also details how our memory and imagination are inextricably linked. In fact, both processes occur in the brain at the intersection of our hippocampus and default mode network.
Most of us don’t remember every detail of every experience (those few who do have something called Hyperthymesia).…
Over the last several years, I’ve made it a bit of a custom to read, listen or watch something by or about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. on the holiday that celebrates his life. In the past few years, I’ve listened to his “I Have a Dream” speech, re-read “Letter from a Birmingham Jail” and watched Selma and documentaries about his life.
This year I re-watched the movie, Boycott.…
“Can you please slow down?” is a common refrain on road trips. Often followed by “You don’t have to drive so fast.”
Increasingly over the last few years, long drives have become sources of tension within my family. The speed with which I drive is often hotly contested.
For context, while I am most definitely driving above the legal speed limit, I am typically within the social norm of “If you’re within 10 MPH, you’re ok.”…
The new year is here. With it might come some level of anxiety or excitement as we anticipate the 365 days before us.
If you are of my generation, the word anticipation might evoke this classic ketchup commercial.
The commercial draws its inspiration from this Carly Simon song.
Politically or personally you may have reason to anticipate the future with concern or fear. The world can be a scary place and the future is of course largely unknown.…
It happens every year around this time. Some years it takes longer than others.
At some point amid all the chaos of shopping and trying to close up the proverbial shop before the holiday break, you feel it.
It could be inspired by a song, a card, or a quiet moment with family or a night out with friends.
In my case, I was shopping at an outdoor mall.…
“I know what it feels like to be a parent now,” my oldest daughter told me after watching her youngest sister deliver a chorus solo during the school’s winter concert. “I was so nervous,” she added.
Anxiety, nervousness and fear are three of the most nerve-wracking aspects of parenting – if not life in general. If we’re lucky they exist in a low hum in the background as we move about our days.…
I developed a new-found appreciation for Yacht Rock, after watching this documentary that talked about the musicianship of groups like Steely Dan, Toto and The Doobie Brothers. I had no idea of their jazz underpinnings or their profound influence on so many other groups and music.
Similarly, while I had heard of the storytelling organization The Moth and listened to one or two of their stories over the years, I now have a new-found interest in their work after reading the book The Moth Presents A Point in Beauty True Stories of Holding on and Letting Go.…
On Thanksgiving, many shared thoughts of people, experiences or things that they are grateful for this year. It is perhaps the best thing about the holiday. The ability to pause from our busy lives, reflect on what we’re thankful for and reach out to share our gratitude with others. A practice by the way, that is best exercised every day, especially during difficult times. As Michael J.…
“Not in my lifetime,” lamented the older woman at the train station. She was looking out at the adjacent Hudson River and referring to the lack of long-promised development on our waterfront. The lack of progress over generations presumably due to some combination of owners who need to remediate it from intense pollution and contamination caused by factories long closed and a village who is happy to have it transformed into a public park but resistant to commercial or residential development. …
