The holidays are notoriously a time of year packed with sweets. Cookies, pies and candy are everywhere. But it is also a time full of a different kind of sweet. The kind produced by acts of kindness and thoughtfulness that leave us thinking or saying, “That is so sweet.”
I saw it within my children, my wife, my mom, my sister, my in-laws, and friends. It was not limited, however, to people I knew.…
Christmas has always been one of – if not – the favorite day of the year for me. It is both a wonderful holiday and my birthday.
Our days follow a familiar flow starting with my children coming in to sing happy birthday before we move to the kitchen table and exchange hand made gifts and cards. Their thoughtfulness never fail to warm my heart and moisten my eyes.
A little boy in second grade raised his hand presumably to ask a question. Instead he made a pretty profound statement.
“When I get bored, I like to write poetry or short stories. Sometimes, I’ll draw pictures next to them. Thank you.”
The event was a school reading of America Gives Thanks in Charlotte. The teachers were astonished that this specific boy made this specific comment.…
Earlier this week, I heard a story about members of a high school chapter of the National Honor Society who were faking the tutoring commitment they were required to perform. The commitment amounted to a total of 2.5 hours. Probably less than one day’s worth of time on their phone.
Last week, I read about a study out of Harvard that found that students were skipping classes, not doing the class reading, while at the same time the number of A’s had increased by 50%.…
‘Tis the season of lists. Lists of things to do before the holidays. Lists of things we want to accomplish in the new year. And of course Christmas lists – both of the naughty or nice variety and of course the list for gifts.
It is worth noting that people were writing lists before they were writing stories or even sentences. They were among the very first forms of writing and were used for educational purposes and then for commerce.…
As Thanksgiving approaches, I’ve been thinking about the distinction between being thankful and grateful. On one level, they may seem interchangeable – and in fact, I have probably often used them that way. On the other, there is a difference and understanding that distinction may be the key to feeling both.
In short, it appears that feeling thankful is ”typically a more immediate and situational response to a specific benefit, whereas gratitude is a deeper, more profound, and lasting attitude of appreciation.”
I started my class late yesterday to allow my students more time to register for their spring classes. The process is typically chaotic with most not getting the classes they need.
I use the word “need” because most of the classes are requirements and depressingly is consistent with their response to this question I asked them: “Do any of you have any classes you’re really looking forward to taking in the spring?”…
It is understandable that many feel powerless today amidst the chaos and calamity found in headlines. At the same time, in many different ways. our everyday actions can be quite powerful – if we choose them to be.
On the very crowded 6 yesterday, a woman struggled to get onto the packed subway car. She asked her fellow passengers to move in. The person immediately in front of her tried to accommodate but could not move in enough to let her board the train.
Last week, I was listening to a podcast about debt. While the host and guest talked about debt in the traditional sense – mortgage, loans, credit cards and negative bank balances – I was most struck by what they called invisible debt. Debt caused not by spending too much but by wanting more. It is a debt driven by desire and social comparison.
The premise of the discussion was trying to unravel the contradiction between the fact that Americans are on average both wealthier and unhappier than their counterparts living in comparable parts of the world.…
A few weeks ago, I was watching TV with my youngest daughter. A commercial came on for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. At the end, they asked for a recommended donation of $20 a month to support a child struggling with cancer. My daughter matter-of-factly asked me if we already support one of their patients. I told her we don’t but that we sponsor four other children through different organizations and have been sponsoring kids since before she was born.…
My heart was full. I looked out at a sea of smiling second graders. I was returning to the school district that many years ago taught me how to read, write and do arithmetic. I was now there to read my own children’s book, America Gives Thanks, and for this full circle moment I felt so incredibly blessed.
Like I did at their age, almost all of these students live in a low-income household.
In class this week, I asked fifteen college students to write down the names of three people in the world they admired but that they didn’t know personally. Two things struck me. One, almost everyone struggled to come up with three names. Two, no person was mentioned twice.
This inquiry was spurred on from a conversation I had the previous night with a friend. We similarly struggled to find what would be today’s equivalent of Gandhi, Mandela, RBG, Mother Theresa, Eisenhower, Churchill, MLK, and Rosa Parks.…
Two of my favorite books, All The Light We Cannot See and The Unbearable Lightness of Being have light in their titles. I can still remember all the words to my favorite song, This Little Little of Mine from church when I was a little kid. All ruminate on the need to see, feel, act and share light.
These reminders are in contrast to our lives, which can often feel heavy or even dark.…
Fall is upon us. It brings with it both excitement and trepidation. The first day of school is exciting. The anticipation of the school work, trepidation. Luscious colors will figment leaves and then eventually fall and be in need of raking. It is a season of transition and, as such, one naturally beset with the yin and yang of daily life.
It is perhaps my favorite season.…
I received an email Tuesday morning. It was from my editor wishing me a Happy Book Birthday and telling me to “soak it all in.”
I struggled to do that all day. While I wanted to focus on what should be a very cool experience, I found it difficult to let go of everything else going on in my life. All the other emails needing my attention, a to-do list that never seems to get shorter, kids who want rides, a dog who needs walking – let alone all of what is happening in the world.…
As I sat outside drinking my morning coffee, reading Lydia Millet’s wonderful book, We Loved it All, I was so struck by a passage that I took a picture of it for safe keeping and read it aloud to those sitting with me.
“Happiness is a wavering mirage that shimmers on the horizon, a promise of sudden deliverance that supports the passive attendance of our lives.…
Thanks to all of you who became my first paid subscribers last week. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your support. For others who find these notes to be a helpful and valuable way to start your week, I hope you might consider doing the same.
Now on to this week’s post….…
Last week, I enjoyed the surprisingly moving, new Marvel movie, Thunderbolts. It features a ragtag group of superheroes, united by their conflicted pasts. The primary villain in the movie – as I see it – is shame. Shame is not the name of a specific villain but a feeling that debilitates all of us – even superheroes with otherworldly powers. In the film, shame’s specter envelops those it touches – both literally and figuratively.…
“Why do they call it cologne for men and perfume for women?” was the question my youngest daughter posed to me as she lay in bed, after a long day.
My initial instinct was to offer a guess. Perhaps it’s based on where each originated geographically. She rightfully questioned this theory. Eventually, I admitted my ignorance as I really had no idea. I told her I would look it up and let her know the next day.…
I have been transfixed by stages lately. Last week, I watched three showings of Mamma Mia bathed in joy. Last night, I listened intently to the group Black Violin bend musical genres.
Stages are not limited to theaters. I love watching my children on athletic fields, delighted when hearing others call their names and cheer them on.
Stages don’t require a large audience, either. One person watching you as you are locked in on any given task in any given place, qualifies according to one Englishman’s definition.…
Last week, I wrote down a friend’s name. The mere thought of him brought a smile to my face – the byproduct of a thousand good times together.
A few days later, I watched my daughter perform in her high school’s joyous production of Mamma Mia. I smiled through the whole first act and most of the second. At various times, I looked over at my wife and other two daughters – often exchanging knowing smiles.…
My wife and I have been watching the show, The Pitt lately. Each episode covers one hour of a twelve hour shift in an emergency room in a Pittsburgh hospital. The show is tremendous in every way; full of humanity and dignity.
One storyline focused on a pair of siblings trying to do what’s right by their father who is dying. At some point to help them cope with this incredibly difficult situation, the doctor introduces them to the Hawaiian concept of Ho’oponopono.…
Pay. Give. Hold. Demand. Undivided, Limited. Deficit.
All words associated with our attention. Often parts of phrases clamoring to receive some amount of it. The words have an air of desperation to them. Presumably underscoring how difficult a task it is to receive it for any length of time.
The poet, Mary Oliver, wrote frequently of our attention. Imploring us to pay more attention to the natural world around us.…
He immigrated to the United States to seek greater economic opportunities but stayed here illegally before he was given a path to citizenship. He received government assistance. He started a business, hired American workers, paid taxes, and bought a home.
These facts are not uncommon parts of an immigrant’s journey. Most come here for better opportunities. Forty percent of undocumented immigrants came here legally but overstayed their visas.…
With the celebrations and conventions of Valentine’s Day behind us, a few words on love.
It is interesting to note that although I have written these notes every week for almost ten years, I’ve never written one exclusively focused on what Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. referred to as the “most durable power in the world.” It is a surprising omission. After all, what could possibly help us move up in life more than love?…
